Ryan/Clank's (Most Likely) final goodbye.

[Clank]

When I joined this server  back in late 2017 early 2018 after seeing my friend Zim playing it, I instantly fell in love with it, and since then I've had my fair share of Ups and Downs, Crys and Laughs, and plenty of hectic RP Moments, the experience of getting to play with every single one of you has been, and will probably be one of my most cherished memories in my entire life. 

 

Which is why it pains me very much to say that I am leaving Synergy, most likely forever. 

Over the last few weeks I've had a very badly degrading mental state which led me to attempt suicide multiple times, this lead to me shutting myself off from my family and eventually pushing most of them away. As a direct consequence of that, I have been kicked out of my house and I am effectively homeless for the time being, which means I will no longer have access to my PC for a very long time.

Ontop of that, I have found myself straying away from playing when I did have the opportunities to, and I honestly believe it's because I'm finally burnt out for the last time.

Thinking back on my time on Synergy, my fondest memories have always been interacting with my Friends, be it during an RP Situation, or us just hanging out on TeamSpeak, it's always been the players that brought me back each time, so I feel as if I have a few farewells in order for those who had the biggest impact.

 

@PunishedDrayyen Drayyen, we may not have spoken since our time in the 327th, but I have a lot to thank you for, you helped shape me into who I was on the server, Both as my BCMD, and one of my friends.

@Zim We may not have actually gotten the chance to play together and RP, but you've been one of my longest friends in the gmod community, you've stuck by me through each server we've gone to, and have consistently been there as someone I can hang out with when I'm feeling at my lowest, thank you for all You've done Zimmy.

@Forseen Forseen, you've been without a doubt the kindest and most understanding person I've ever spoken to on Gmod, be it listening to me rant about issues and genuinely trying to help me fix them, or just being there as a friend to play games with, you've made a lasting impact on me and honestly you've had the biggest impact out of anyone here, you've shown me that even when someone is being irrational and upset, the best approach is always to be calm and reason with them, this is a lesson I've taken to heart.

@Kurt Kurt, you were the first man to ever teach me ENG RP on a SWRP Server, you'll always be #1 engineer im my books.

@Razen Defect

@Brooklyn Catgirl Defect

@Polik Retarded Defect

@Scarecrow Mr. Crow, you've been one of my favorite people in the community since I met you when I joined 104th, you've shown me nothing but Kindness and Acceptance during my time here, even if you did call me a smelly lizard every time you saw me.

@Slate We were never the closest during our time together in 104th, but you were still one of my friends, and you showed me that even when being serious you can still have fun, rest gently in heaven friend.

@Wolfro Wolfro, I have a million words I could say for you, but I think these two are the best: Thank You.  Thank you for being the one to guide me and point me in the right direction during my times of doubt, thank you for being a good friend even when we didn't talk for extended periods, you'll always be the best Plo Koon I've ever had the pleasure working with.

@Shiny Keldeo Keldeo my Friend. You are THE best Rper i have EVER seen on Garry's mod, the dedication and commitment you put into each and every one of your RP Situations is absolutely phenomenal, and ontop of that, you're just a super cool dude all around, hmu for some GTA When im not homeless

@Crimson I don't know if its by coincidence, but somehow we always end up playing the same SWRP Servers.

 

 

To everyone else who reads this, I apologize if I forgot to @ you here, currently writing this while having not slept for 30+ hours.

Its been fun Synergy, Farewell friends. 

 

(If you need to reach me, you can message me on discord, if I have wifi ill respond SaneRyanC#0861)

Edited November 13, 2020 by Clank

[Ratio]

It sounds like you're in a very rough and impactful spot in your life, Clank. It's gonna be pretty hard for you. If you can, find some people who will be accepting of you. Human kindness is possible if you look in the right places, and when you get out of this rut, you'll be stronger for it.

But for now, please stay safe, bud. Don't get wrapped up in any bad crowds.

Until next time.

[COC4IN3]

Take care man, and take it easy!

[Naffen]

Damn, sorry to hear this sad news. Stay safe man. I wanna see you make more photos soon 

[Eclipse]

It's always sad to hear when members of the community are leaving, especially for sad reasons, but I think this is the best step you can take right now. Make strives to improve your life again, make it something new and great. You need to really focus hard on sorting your stuff out and I know you can do it. I'll miss you, Clank. You were a great Consular buddy when I had actual desire for Jedi and you were an amazing friend to be around, although we grew away over time and stopped talking to each other that often. You were a great role model for me when I was doing my jedi stuff.


Please don't do anything rash. One minute decisions can cause ripples of heartache for tons of people. There are people who will miss you, people who love you and care for you, and people who want to see you tomorrow. Today might suck but tomorrow might not. Only one way to find out, be there.
Please also consider calling the national suicide hotline if you are ever in a horrible place. They can help: 1-800-273-8255 (USA) or 833-456-4566 (CA).

I hope to see you again Clank. I'm expecting your return when you get better. 

[Comics]

There are lots of people out there. A lot of people go through this sort of stuff. And a lot of people care about you.

There is a light at the end of every tunnel. Once you find that light you won't want to ever leave it, so keep pushing and don't be afraid to talk to people you trust or even professionals.

I hope you to recover as soon as possible and I wish you the best in life. The community will happily welcome you back with open arms.

[Zim]

Listen @Clank,
I've known you a long time. We all still talk about you in discord, sometimes about you, your wookie, or your amazing exposed or gmod dancing videos. It really sucks to hear you've hit such a bad spot. You know we are always here for you if you need something. You've always been here for us when we needed a good laugh. But more importantly than that, I hope you can take this oppurtunity to get better. You need to focus on yourself, on your future, and on becoming you again. Focus on one day at a time, it does get better. I've been exactly where you are. I know 'it gets better' sounds unreal, but I promise it does. You can't quit.

If you need someone to talk to at any time,  you have my number, and if you no longer do, you can ask for it. I would much rather drop some of my time than hear that you threw all yours away. Try and talk it out with your family, see if you can move back in, if not, rent somewhere or bunk at a friends. If bunking isn't an option and you can't afford to rent message me and we can figure something out together. 

When COVID ends I want to see you again man, don't take that away, please. 
Stay safe, I love you buddy.

[Scarecrow]

Tax fraud will never be as fun without you

[Snadvich]

The realest homie, see ya around champ 

[Cox]

damn bruh imma miss you and those pictures you took and how funny you were I hope you get into a better position in life and that all this will go past you someday.

[Craigary]

On 11/13/2020 at 4:27 AM, Clank said:

SaneRyanC#0861)

Did this change? I can’t find you on discord.

 

Nvm - I found you

Edited December 13, 2020 by Craigary

[Deku]

Take care buddy, if there's anything you need my DMs are open. Have a good one!

[Ippo]

Good bye  my guy