Thorpy

Its come to my attention that some members of the community are alright with me coming back now but many still want me to take further time off or not come back at all, and rightly so. Im voiding my appeal and I hope at least I've shown a marginal development in my maturity. Thank you to the Founders, Co-coordinators and others for allowing me to reach out to people.

Responses are in order of our paragraphs: 1) I mean what I did everyone basically knows lets be honest on a surface level that i did leak, be toxic and shit-post. I dont need to clarify it to the extent to which i wanted to explain why it happened and thats the reason for that. I feel like the time of your response to this thread and what you said is ultimately futile as what you are implying/ have said has already been clarified, at least from my point of view. These people had small and large impacts on myself and the actions that followed. Most infamously my toxicity towards people such as Tessa and CG was brought about due to liaison related issues between us so obviously to not include what lead to that would leave out a big factor of my distasteful behaviour. Some issues such as this though I wish not to delve into as Tessa may not want to discuss it or have it discussed and i want to respect that. 2) Honestly from my POV this is reaching. You start your sentence with literally implying that this may not happen but might and then compare this to real crime? Ok? Cant others who have done the same become repeat offeners which have since become thriving members of the community? I dont know how this appeal shows a lack of remorse as ultimately I put time and effort into this and its obviously not a shit-post. I obviously do also feel ashamed of my actions but im pretty sure thats been evident, as i also apologize for my actions before my ban, mainly my toxicity towards others. 3) So essentially you agree with me? You insinuate that my story makes sense if i take out the names so therefore it should already make sense? I thought that by being specific it would allow others in the community to understand my thought process and answer any lingering questions. Again, I was the one who ultimately did this and hit enter on all these terrible thing and therefore I take accountability but its not fair to assume that my response is dishonest and lacks remorse when clearly more than 1 person in this thread referenced how what I did had to some extent been due to an influence. - Im not going to reply any further to be honest and thats not me being fed up or annoyed. Its clear that this isnt constructive for both of us and at the end of the day I still acknowledge and respect your views of the thread and have taken what you have said into great account. Have a good day comics-

For someone who didn't play i dont think you understand what actually happened. To not name who was involved and to what extent they played a role in everything would severely make what I did a vague mess. I clearly state in my thread responses and in my actual thread that I take the actions of those that posted gore, NSFW and used offensive language as my own responsibility. As i also said, this appeal was meant to be a way to effectively apologize and explain my situation. Maybe i wasnt coherent enough about me mentioning that i actually did admit to leaking docs, kicking people and being unsavory in discord ill say it here for you again since you didnt read the previous threads. I did in fact leak docs, kick people, was toxic and i fully take responsibility for my actions and those who were around me. This doesn't mean that im not sorry as you seem to detect from text, I wouldn't make an appeal after 5 months just to get watched 24/7 and do it all again. i could literally buy gmod again, not speak and do all of it if i really wanted to. I dont really know what you expect me to say either, how can i realistically convey i wont do this again other than to apologise, own up and say that if i was to come back i wont do it again? I apperciate your response honestly and I understand your justified view. Have a good day.

I understand that what I did is irreversible and value your response being that of scrutinizing my actions (truly). I just want to say thought that although this doesn't resolve, reduce or lessen the extent of damage of what i did, not once did i post gore to my knowledge. I will admit though that due to the nature of the group I accept their actions as my responsibility. Thank you for your response.

Hey appreciate your response as a whole and hopefully i can address some concerns, questions and other factors that may have lead you to write this. Im not trying to change your mind obviously but I hope this provides more clarity. Firstly I just wanted to say that I hand on heart had no idea you were at a funeral. I dont think I knew and everyone i talked to knew thats where you were and im sorry for putting you in that positon. As for the timing of it im not sure if you know but i live in the UK and for me that was around noon for me so it wasnt as if I stayed up all night or woke up early to do this. Furthermore i can understand your perspective on me "piggybacking" off a group i once knew as an excuse but i 100% take responsibility for my actions. In the end I could have stopped it and done nothing but i didnt. Many, including some people on this thread though acknowledge that what happened to me wasnt just my own actions thought and the influence of others also played a large part. Still, it was my fault entirely in what i did. Secondly about the "Breaking bad group", yes i was apart of their group mutually for a while during 41st and then more active towards the end especially during the drama with CG. I knew all of them before it went off the rails and members of the community even know that people such as Mexico, Cooter, Mor, Goda and others were apart of it (who didnt take part and eventually left) but that doesnt make them bad and therefore i stuck with the group, hopefully you can see the rational behind that. It was because I got to know them in a time on vulnerability (disclaimer: not all just those mentioned before in my prologue to this thread) utilized that to their advantage. I dont think its particularly fair to rule out those people as a factor of my ban and hopefully now you can see why. As for the stuff i did before I was simply with one side of synergy which constantly had banter and therefore the copypasta stuff I thought was funny at the time but looking back was childish. I know its to late to apologize but im sorry.

Hey, appreciate your thoughts and can definitely see your stance. I just wanted to clarify that due to the vice that these people had on me due to my situation it wasnt easy to just say no. Of course what I did was inexcusable but i didn't personally and in my opinion do as much damage as people such as Royan and his friends with gifs, pics and offensive language. Im not saying i didnt do it but it was to a far lesser extent and the intention of me doing it was certainly not scarring anyone. Again, not excusable and words cannot fathom my disdain towards my actions and as such have distanced/blocked those people since. Of course however if given a second chance I'm more than alright with increased restricted perms such as not posting images, increased watch and thin ice to walk on which i obviously expect and accept due to what i did. Although i cant really convince you to trust me realistically this is not an offence i wish to repeat or even look back on. Thank you for your POV and regardless of the outcome im grateful for your time to respond and I hope you have a great day Mavelle.

Fair enough, I know that Clutch and DT and I had a few falling outs during my time in 21st and more so clutch in jedi sometimes. I cant really recall us specifically having an arguement but none the less wanted to include you as personally I had a 1 sided bitter view towards you due to your friend group beforehand (which was obviously childish and idiotic). I understand your stance on this and appreciate your comment. Have a great day.

Name: Thorpy Steam ID: STEAM_0:0:144322066 Ban Reason: Ban reason was leaking docs but I was also toxic. Date of Ban: 3/9/22 Length of Ban: Community Ban Staff Member(s) Involved: Woeny Reason(s) why we should accept your appeal: I know many of you may have questions or conflicts of interest so please allow me to say something on the topic regardless of if i will be unbanned or not: I know i hurt a lot of people and broke the trust of many. In this section I only wish to admit to my mistakes and try to re-establish a base level of mutual understanding of my situation and to amend relationships potentially. Im aware some of you may think this is to early for the amount of trolling, drama, toxicity and damage i've done to the community so ill understand if the community doesn't want me back or to wait longer than i have already (5 months). I’ve played on synergy since 2018 to 2022 on and off and this community had played significant role in my online life since then hence why i’m appealing. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What actually happened and why i did what i did: My time towards the end of SOBDE: During this time is where I changed from being in my opinion a rp’er and member of the community (during when I was tech). Many people such as Daytona211, Mavelle, Mazen, Hanz, Toaster, Bleach, Pythin , Meow , Ollie and Pronto who i considered my friends began to take notice to my toxicity and “villain arc” as Mazen put it. This was ultimately due to burn out, irl stress and events and influence from bad actors such as meeting Nalon, Frosty and Stix. Because of me talking to them all regularly certain biases were established around Mazen, Squishy, Clutch, Tessa and Gears ultimately leading to me being toxic towards them and their groups. This was essentially childish and wrong of me to do as I thought initially it was funny but I neglected the very community which allowed me to enjoy this server and all it had to offer. Because of that I left Tech and joined a battalion I thought was more laid back. Towards this point is where I met Royan. Although I've named people im not using them as a scapegoat and I 100% understand that what I did was on me with no excuse. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Alpha Arc + Jedi Master before the leak and purge: shortly after meeting and knowing Nalon and Frosty I met Royan. Royan was initially nice to me in a time of vulnerability and because of that I unintentionally thought I could trust him and told him about my personal life without knowing of his community banned status. Because of this he knew personal info about me and still claims he does to this day. He referenced where I lived and had my full name. My actual name isn't very common so this caught me off guard quite a bit. During this time as well Stix was my main friend in Synergy and many of you will recall that I played with him a lot such as when multiverses came out. Stix eventually met Royan, Myself, Seabass and Hansen in a discord and due to my friendship with Stix it ultimately led to constant arguments between Stix, Royan and myself. Due to this Royan eventually harassed me and Stix and Stix left the server whilst I was told in calls that he had my info and wasn't scared to leak it. Eventually after many group calls with him and his friends (most infamously phaser) he told me that in order for him not to do anything i would have to leak jedi aspects of the server shortly after his alt was banned and as he put it “snap”. I told Stix and although he didnt like Royan he did admit fucking over Squishy would be funny hence the encouragement from both parties. Thus due to me feeling burnt out, toxic, self-destructive and encouraged this concept eventually became reality. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The leaking and wiping of Jedi documents: There is no excuse for what I did, plain and simple. I affected so many people and hours and years of infrastructure and work and although some of you may not believe me i'm genuinely sorry for hurting the community and looking back it was childish, toxic and honestly embarrassing. Royan, Nalon and Frosty all created alts and harassed me to invite them to the server and wipe it and all docs to be leaked also pinning it on Hansen and Seabass despite them doing nothing so they eventually couldn't appeal as they thought it was and i quote “an epic troll”. As I lacked the morality to tell the synergy team and friends I didnt choose to mention my rancor position and the discord as a whole despite my ranking and permissions. Again this wasn't excusable and as a result I suffered the appropriate consequences. Again, words can not express how much I've lamented about this situation and just wanted to clarify the motives behind it and any potential questions. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Tessa situation: Firstly I'm sorry @TessaKitty, as far as I know you don't play anymore and you may not hear this but I was out of line and truly sorry. I would also like to apologize to Rancor as a whole for tarnishing the name of the battalion and the stress i put HC through such as Ollie, Bleach, Satan and Void. During this situation, as mentioned before, it was during a time where I was childish, toxic and honestly a bit of a loser (which is no excuse). Stix maybe intentionally or unintentionally encouraged this drama and although i dont have evidence i can confidently say that many who were in Rancor at the time knew Stix and I were close and talked about it on the regular as he later joined CG to troll them and get insider info about what might happen to me. Again, no excuse for what I did and I just want to apologize and get off my chest why I did what I did and that I have great remorse for it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Evidence to support your claims: Finally I just wanted to dedicate a section to individuals and groups in which I feel I was treated unjustly and as a result broke contact with and permanently damaged relationships with. I know this may be dumbed, laughed at or disregarded but from my point of view this is what is right and all of you deserve recognition and sincere apologies: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- @Mazen: No-one like you has seen me go from normal to toxic as much as you. I'm honestly sorry for the harassment, name-calling and toxicity towards you. You were a good friend to me and made my time in SOBDE fun, interesting and engaging. I know that honestly we will never be on the same level as we were before as friends but you out of all deserve a massive apology for my childish and toxic antics. There is no excuse for what I did to you and so many others but I hope you accept this apology regardless of if i'm unbanned or not. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Mavelle, Hanz and Daytona211: I let you all down as a roleplayer and a member of SOBDE. I can't imagine the stress I may have put you through and as a result of what I did to you and others. I hope you can forgive me, I truly did value our relationship as a squad. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- @Dono,@Mystic, @Clutch and @Deathtiger: There is no surprise the beef we had went on for ages and honestly it was entirely my fault. Ultimately I was just jealous of your success and leadership, thus I was bitter. I'm sorry and hope in the future we can have a mutual friendship. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- @Pythin, @Bleach, @Gears, @Naffen, @meowthemeower and @Craigary: I felt during my time that all of you guys trusted me and enjoyed being around me. I know that personally I've kept in contact with many of you till this day and I'm forever grateful for the memories we made together. For me to 180 like that and destroy all trust, relationships and dignity you saw of me was shameful and I understand if that's why to this day you resent me, are ashamed of me and/or embarrassed of me and my actions. As a result the least I can do is apologize. I'm sorry. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- @Cooter and @chysk0: I won't discuss it here but we all know why we aren't as close as we were before and it was all my fault. I truly am remorseful for the destruction I did to whatever friendship we had which I valued and as a result I lament on why I did such actions. Hopefully this apology is enough to establish a mutual respect again between us despite my rage and toxicity. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- @Xaze, @Brooklyn, @Maddoxx, @Conrad, @Bbstine, @Marvel and @Woeny: Plain and simple, my toxicity and childish nature created drama between us and as a result created a mutual distrust, dislike and tarnishing of our mutual respect. I personally feel like we had initially before I was toxic. I'm sorry for being a pain and retrospectively looking back I can only commend you for your actions taken towards myself and many other distasteful actions of others as leaders of this community. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- @ToasterBath, @Void, @A-a-ron, @Ollie_ and @Bleach: Once good friends and people I would talk to for hours, the most i can do over text is convey how sorry I am for everything I did in Rancor and within the community despite you offering nothing but friendship and good times. I truly am sorry and words cannot express my remorse for what I did. Hopefully one day you can all forgive me. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- @Keegan, @Ghsy and @SEXICO: My day 1’s. You saw my rise and fall with me re-joining the community. I'm sorry I let you all down. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- @SquishyFishyy: Arguably probably one of the people who I targeted the most, and for stupid and childish reasons. Despite your positive attitude and open-mind I shit-talked you and did a terrible thing during your term. Retrospectively looking back, I can't emphasize the gratitude I have to you during my time as a Jedi and 41st. For someone to stay positive and selfless amidst my actions is honorable and despite you leaving and probably never seeing this I do hope we can talk and establish another friendship as we initially had. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Conclusion/TLDR: If I missed anyone in the community I am sincerely sorry and I'm frankly embarrassed looking at all the apologies I've had to get off my chest as a result of my own actions. I wanted to take a moment to thank and apologize to this awesome community. I know many of you will laugh, dumb or not care about this appeal. The actions of myself have hurt the community and although this is an appeal thread the main intention of this was to apologize in an effective way as many of you have broken all communication/blocked me. I know that for some, many dont want to see me back now, for a while or indefinitely. Whilst all i can say is sorry its up to the community and that is more than fair. I acknowledge that if I was to ever return I wouldn't be trusted and I accept that and intend to come with a positive mindset and turn over a new leaf. Regardless of my outcome however and what occurs I hope you can all forgive me and see this as a genuine apology. If any of you want to reach out and talk my discord is 2e#4549 - Thorpy. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------