Maddoxx Posted February 17, 2021 Report Share Posted February 17, 2021 Issue #1 2-17-21 This week Anchorwoman Lana goes over the Republic’s top 5 hottest Jedi Generals. 1.Anakin Skywalker 2. Mace Windu 3.Obi-Wan Kenobi 4. Kit Fisto 5.Quinlan Vos We took to the base to interview the clones and get some of those spicy details on these Jedi generals just for you. Here’s just a few bits of what the clones on base have to say about the spunk hunks. “Obi-Wan doesn’t shower.” - 212th CPT Peel “He works out with no shirt and is very hot.” - 501st Executive Officer Claw These Exciting Jedi Generals may be heroes of the Republic but any of them could come save me any day.None more then the Savior of the Republic and most powerful of the Jedi Anakin Skywalker. Just last week The Supreme Chancellor was spotted attending a play on Coruscant with none other than Jedi General Skywalker! Not only does he have looks it seems he also has connections. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ This week Political Expert Reporter Linux on the planet Coruscant sat down with Jedi Master Adi-Gallia to talk about the ethics of Jedi leading this war. She had this to say when asked why Jedi should be trusted as Generals in this war when they preached for years about being peacekeepers and negotiators. “The Jedi are better at leading then the clone commanders because we have more experience fighting in wars.” When asked about how they had better job leading or more experience Adi-Gallia dodged the question. So we changed the topic and asked about if we should fear more Jedi turning on the republic like former Jedi Master Count Dooku did, the only response we got was “You wouldn’t like it if a Jedi came up and stabbed you in the back now would you?” and told that the interview was now over. Our reports got out of there quickly after this in fear of their own safety. But we won’t give up on finding out what these Jedi are hiding. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ War Correspondent Rolf took to the base also and this was his findings. The Republic can’t secure its own base, hit and runs rampant as MCMD Ash is hit mid interview by a speeder. We tracked the owner of this speeder down and he satiated that his speeder had been stolen! When asked about who stole the speeder he claimed it to be the work of a local gang known as “Clan Oasis.” After doing a bit more digging it turns out Clan Oasis is a local terrorist organization that Republic forces have yet to stop. One clone we spoke to who wishes to remain anonymous stating “ It’s Republic high command, they won’t let us do anything about it.” We could not secure a statement from any Republic military officials on this matter. War Correspondent Rolf asked a SOBDE member if he thinks we can win the war the only answer he gave was “ No I do not. “ - Clone in large black armor then tried to kick him off base. In an effort to not be shot by the clones Rolf and his Cameraman Crow made their way to a local village to ask about life there. Unfortunately both members of the HoloNet News team perished due to local wildlife. But a local hero named Worseen was able to return the footage to us back here at the station where we are excited to bring you the final interview with Rolf in next week's exciting issue alongside his deep dive into the 501st pilots and their high mortality rate with 501st Hawk! On the note of local wildlife we have some exciting up close photos of a local wildlife attack on the Fort Anaxes and the brave clones who saved the day. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ HOLONET NEWS IS HIRING! If you’ve ever wanted an exciting job in the news from Press reporters Editors & Cameramen To start your new and exciting career with HoloNet News contact the Editor & Chief Wren today! Discord Wren#0288 1 3 1 Report Link to comment
Wren Posted February 17, 2021 Report Share Posted February 17, 2021 WOAH!!!!!!!!!! Very Cool :) ;) Aye I'm in 212th! Link to comment
Dono Posted February 17, 2021 Report Share Posted February 17, 2021 SMH Kit fisto as only 4??? lame! 1 1 Report Link to comment
Coordinator Woeny Posted February 17, 2021 Coordinator Coordinator Report Share Posted February 17, 2021 Real talk how the fuck is mace windu above obi 2 Report Link to comment
Management Marvel Posted February 17, 2021 Management Report Share Posted February 17, 2021 i am literally captain tukk Link to comment
Retired Founder Forseen Posted February 17, 2021 Retired Founder Report Share Posted February 17, 2021 Worseen is such a hero, best local out. 1 Report Link to comment
Wren Posted February 17, 2021 Report Share Posted February 17, 2021 Just now, Forseen said: Worseen is such a hero, best local out. I- Aye I'm in 212th! Link to comment
BigZach Posted February 17, 2021 Report Share Posted February 17, 2021 Top 10 hottest clones... "I'm not toxic. You're just making it really hard to not treat you like an idiot." - Logic Link to comment
Maddoxx Posted February 17, 2021 Author Report Share Posted February 17, 2021 1 minute ago, BigZach said: Top 10 hottest clones... Next week. ;) 1 Report Link to comment
Management Marvel Posted February 17, 2021 Management Report Share Posted February 17, 2021 1 minute ago, BigZach said: Top 10 hottest clones... Number 1: 99 1 1 Report i am literally captain tukk Link to comment
Bacta Posted February 17, 2021 Report Share Posted February 17, 2021 Fuck Luther, never liked him he smells and sucks! Link to comment
Fyi Posted February 17, 2021 Report Share Posted February 17, 2021 top 10 moments taken before disaster: mcmd ash gets hit by a car 3 Report hi. Link to comment
Bleach Posted February 17, 2021 Report Share Posted February 17, 2021 God the wildlife is crazy! 1 1 Report I was the Best Canadian on the Server The Smoke Will Never Clear... Link to comment
Ryan/Ghost Posted February 17, 2021 Report Share Posted February 17, 2021 When you twist words.... and dont give the whole story.... "THE NEWS"!! Link to comment
Luther Posted February 17, 2021 Report Share Posted February 17, 2021 Wait a second..... I shower daily. 2 2 Report Link to comment
Maddoxx Posted February 17, 2021 Author Report Share Posted February 17, 2021 Just now, Ryan/Ghost said: When you twist words.... and dont give the whole story.... "THE NEWS"!! That's the news bb <3 Link to comment
Wren Posted February 17, 2021 Report Share Posted February 17, 2021 26 minutes ago, Ryan/Ghost said: When you twist words.... and dont give the whole story.... "THE NEWS"!! And Cut. Aye I'm in 212th! Link to comment
Thunder Posted February 17, 2021 Report Share Posted February 17, 2021 I admire this so much, it's actually super creative. Events have been done like this before, but no one actually went this far and took it to the forums! Good job :) 2 Report Zuko Fanboy Link to comment
Finn Posted February 18, 2021 Report Share Posted February 18, 2021 This is propoganda! 1 Report |Longest Serving Attack Regimental Commander||Thigh High Connoisseur| Link to comment
Gears Posted February 18, 2021 Report Share Posted February 18, 2021 Ah yes. Finally given the title I rightly deserved... the hottest jedi general. 1 1 Report Currently trying to not be a forum gremlin Former Chancellor Palpatine | Former Yoda & Mace Windu | Former Shaak Ti & Anakin | Former Delta Squad Scorch | Former Mas Amedda | Former Director | Former Management Link to comment
Naffen Posted February 18, 2021 Forum Admin Report Share Posted February 18, 2021 Wonder who that guy was that kicked you off base Nah but this is a really cool idea that you are implementing. Love to see what happens next week 1 Report I added the Pepe emojis onto the forums Link to comment
Matt-Matthos Posted February 18, 2021 Report Share Posted February 18, 2021 These guys are just asking for a bounty to be put on them... 1 Report Link to comment
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